


the good that won't come out of me

by verulams (finnlogan)



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Flashbacks, Gen, M/M, Medical Trauma, Snippet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 04:10:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23005537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finnlogan/pseuds/verulams
Summary: “Logan,”“How much does it cost to replace this kind of carpet?”Xavier smiles grimly. “A fair amount.”“Good,” and with a roar he rips his claws out from his insides and screams.***Xavier and Logan talk, and sometimes he feels like an experiment.
Relationships: Logan (X-Men)/Charles Xavier, implied
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	the good that won't come out of me

**Author's Note:**

> don't mind me, just clearing out some drafts!

“I’m a simple- guy,”

“Logan,” returns Charle, something scandalised but not-quite in his tone. “You mean you don’t care?”

Logan shrugs. His brain twitches as something moves in the forest he can see through the open window. “Nothin’ more I can actually find out, is there?”

“That’s…” and whether Charles looks in his head or not, it’s irrelevant. But Logan very strongly suspects telepathic foul play, because Xavier’s lips purse. “A lie.”

“Nope,” says Logan, popping the sound on his tongue. 

“They-  _ Logan, _ ” he says, vaguely placating in his tone. “Stop acting like a petulant child and-“

Something bursts in Logan’s brain from behind a dam he hadn’t known existed. “And do  _ what, Charles? Let myself get- _ “ captured, says his brain. Captured, like some fucking  _ dog.  _ “Let them  _ use me _ and- and-“ 

He’s hyperventilating suddenly because he can feel the incoming memory before he can even tell what it is. 

“Charles,” he chokes out. “Stay away  _ from me,” _ he plants his hands beneath his armpits, in the hopes that maybe it’ll  _ stop  _ this, but instead there’s a rapping at the door that sounds like-

They’re wracking at his cage. He could kill everyone here, if he wanted. He doesn’t want. He doesn’t want anything. 

A soldier speaks garbled words he can’t understand. They reach into the cage and he finds that his gut response is tampered with, must be, because he doesn’t shy away. He shows his teeth and they wrench him from the cage, but he doesn’t stop them. He could, he could, he could, he could, and they force him down onto the cold metal of the table and he still does nothing. He strains forward. They plant a single gloved hand on him and then he falls back, like- like-

Like fucking-

He’s not sure what and whatever he’d been thinking is lost to him as they attach something to his wrists and he focuses on the way his body interacts with the sharp metal, cold and aching against his painful joints. 

There’s suddenly something shiny in his face and he zeroes in. Blood starts pumping. He’s-

Oh fucking Christ, it’s a  _ needle _ , filled with something liquid but metallic in his nose as he scents it above the bleach of the room. 

He, belatedly, raises his lips in a snarl. It’s too late, though, because they’re flicking into his arms and steadily, slowly, in goddamn speed of the glaciers-

The metallic thing oozes into his skin and he screams. 

It seems too late, because whatever this is it seeps into his bones instead of his bloodstream and he’s- he’s  _ confused,  _ because it  _ hurts _ but he hadn’t  _ done anything to stop it- _

He howls back into reality. He’s on the floor of Xavier’s office. 

He’s pleasantly surprised to note that his surroundings appear unharmed. He looks to the right, and screams again. He doesn’t need to look down to know what he’s done, but he does anyway. 

There are his claws, embedded firmly in the flesh of his shoulders. 

Ah. So that’s why he hadn’t caused any damage. 

Chuck sits ahead of him, and his eyes are filled with nothing but compassion. 

He feels his mouth twist into a snarl. He struggles to his feet with his claws still embedded in his arms. It fucking  _ hurts _ , and he can’t stop himself from yelling out. 

When he looks up, Xavier is looking at him with concern. He smiles back, grimly, and glances at the floor. “You care about this carpet, Chuck?”

Charles purses his lips. “Not…. especially. You should go to the infirmary though, Logan, it…”

He trails off but even when Logan stares at him inquisitively he only raises an eyebrow. 

The infirmary, though? Chuck had to be kidding. He was hardly going to  _ choose _ to have people scrabbling over him. 

He scowls. He was hardly going to choose a  _ lab _ . The fact that he still hadn’t  _ done  _ it, still hasn’t wrenched his claws from his arms, is conspicuous as he finds more and more time between him and the memory. He sure as fuck doesn’t want to gush blood all over the carpet, not when it’d probably lead to blood loss and him being dragged down to the fucking  _ lab _ again. They’d want to keep him in. For tests. He shudders and it pulls on the razor wounds currently bleeding into his jacket. 

“Logan,”

“How much does it cost to  _ replace _ this kind of carpet?”

Xavier smiles. “A fair amount.”

“Good,” and with a  _ roar  _ he rips them from his insides and screams. 

***

“Oh, Logan,” and at the tone he can feel his hackles rise. “What did they do to you?”

He grunts out a non-response, and goes back to drinking his beer. 

He blinks as another figure enters the room. “He’s no worse than some of the others I’ve seen.”

Logan blinks and then looks up at them. “Telepath?” He asks. 

They smile and Logan bites back whatever visceral response that brews in his throat. “Certainly,” they respond. “And you’re nothing I’ve not seen before.”

He grunts, and goes back to his beer. He’s not altogether surprised. He has dim recollections sometimes of other people in his cell, dim recollections of people trying to calm him down. He hadn’t been the only mutant there, not by a long stretch. 

The telepath sighs. “He’s dangerous,” they say, and he can’t- can’t quite pin this person down. They seem to block off his senses, cold and harsh against his eyes and ears and nose. 

Charles sighs too. “No more dangerous than any of the children we take in,”

“That’s not true, and you know it.” And Logan knows it too. He’s on borrowed time, here. “Are you getting senile, in your old age?”

And  _ that  _ makes his ears prick up if nothing else does. 

“Hey, now,” he says, putting down his beer. He’s never been one for diplomacy, but-

Charles’ eyes flick between the telepath and Logan, as Logan draws himself up to his full height and bulk, crossing his arms and making a face as displeased as he can. 

“Oh look, Charles!” Says the telepath. Logan is growling before they can even finish their sentence, and they glower at him. “Your little pet is loyal!”

Logan snarls at them before he can help it. “Logan,” mumbles Charles, exasperated. 

“Look, Xavier,” says the telepath. “If you want to keep a killing machine around at your beck and call, you’re welcome to do so. But you should know that if it hurts anyone-”

Logan’s claws itch at that one. “It,” He echos, darkly. Xavier shoots him a look that says he needs to back down, and he’s… for some reason, he’s a sucker for Xavier. 

The unknown telepath makes an angry noise,  _ tutting  _ at him. 

“Charles-” he growls. His claws itch at his knuckles. 

“Logan,” Charles stays. Warning. It rankles just a little bit on his tongue, but he stands back all the same. 

“ _ Trained,”  _ purrs the telepath. 

And he’s less than inches from skewering this bastard, but something twists behind their eyes and this is a goddamn  _ trap.  _

He deliberately relaxes his guard and sighs. “Yeah,” he says. “Whatever.”

He twists on his heel, and returns to the sofa. He grabs at his beer and brings it to his lips. 

The thrum of the room slows to nothing. Chuck’s voice in his head: “Thank you, Logan.”

He leans his head down and glowers at the television set. 

He sits with one leg slung roughly over the other, and does his very level best to meditate. 

***

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading love u


End file.
